What Should You Expect From a Celebrant?

What Should You Expect From a Celebrant?

This is 'your' event, so always ask questions that are important to you!

~  Do they offer information and resources that are helpful in planning your ceremony? And do they provide a vast range of materials and informative documents to assist you in planning your ceremony, including a choice of readings, suggestions for music, an overview of various symbolic gestures to consider, and sample vows and ring promises?

~  Do they seem organised, professional and well seasoned as a Celebrant?

~  How devoted will they be? For example, will they book other ceremonies before or after yours? (This is important because life, being what it is, isn't always 'on time' and some delays are unexpected. You want a Celebrant who is devoted to your  occasion without causing you the added stress of having to be perfectly punctual.)

~  Do they include any little 'extras' in their fee such as a commemorative certificate, a beautifully prepared commemorative copy of your ceremony for your memory box, specially prepared cards with vows printed?

~  Do they arrive early, tend to your guests, and brief the bridal party on the day?

~  Will they make themselves available for a rehearsal ahead of your ceremony?

~  Will they liaise with the venue ahead of time?

~  Are they tolerant of various photographic arrangements and requirements?

A phone conversation with a Celebrant is a great way to assess their speaking skills and how they organise their thoughts on the spot. You'll get a good sense for their warmth, sincerity and professionalism, as well as how effectively they give you a strong image about what might take place on the day.

We all have certain expectations as well as many gaps about what a Celebrant can offer us, so your first interaction with a Celebrant is very important in either giving you a strong comfort level with their style, or it will raise some flags about how well they may (or may not) work with you.

Next at Ellen Bower Ceremonies: What Should You Ask a Celebrant before you hire them?

Find answers to your questions at: Ellen Bower Ceremonies

Get in touch: bower_ellen@yahoo.com

I'm a Celebrant. (You're a what?)

I was at a gathering the other day with some friends I haven't seen in some time. It was a very eclectic gathering and I knew most of the women there, but there were a few unfamiliar to me. I am often amazed at how impressive a group of women are when they get together. We represented artists, personal trainers, teachers, alternative medicine professionals, dog trainers, scientists, accountants ... and there was me, the Celebrant.

After some initial chat catching up with a few of my friends and introducing myself to new faces, one of the women new to me asked "what do you do"?

I've been accustomed to answering this question all throughout my career, in many different capacities and most of the titles I had were quite self-defining such as Marketing Manager, Sales Director, Training Manager and so on. Even my vocation as a Life Coach leaves little to the imagination in 2016. No one needed clarification on what I meant by any of those past career titles.

"I'm a Celebrant" I replied, in my usual warm and engaging way. Wait for it! I anticipated the next question.

"A what?" she politely asked. "A Celebrant" I repeated. She looked very curious and thought for a brief moment. And then came the expected question ... "What's a Celebrant"?

I want to say here that I absolutely love my vocation and I've never been happier in a job than I am now as a Celebrant. So any opportunity that crosses my path to explain this awesome job of mine really delights me.

"Well, I design and officiate ceremonies - you could say I'm a Ceremony Specialist. I create beautiful, meaningful, thoughtful ceremonies to celebrate weddings, baby namings, vow renewals, life transitions - those sorts of life occasions. I get to help people mark significant life events and make them truly memorable! I love my job! "

By now, my voice is filled with enthusiasm and I'm eager for more questions so that I can share more insight about this fantastic job I have. I love talking about what I do for a living, so anytime someone looks at me a bit quizzically I get quite eager and ready to explain.

I think of my profession as being somewhat of an Artisan - someone skilled in 'making things by hand'. In my case, I make ceremonies by hand, each one unique, each one fresh, each one simply beautiful. Exactly what my clients desire. I view the ceremonies I write as pieces of art because they hold the hearts and the dreams of my clients within the words that I compose. And it is a memory that stays with them, forever.

So perhaps I am a Ceremony Artisan. The word 'artisan' is based on the French verb 'artire' which means to instruct in the arts. I take the journey of someone's life, or the lives of two people in a relationship, and weave their story into a beautifully written and delivered ceremony. My product is a 'service' and not something decorative like jewellery or clothing, but the memories are one-of-a-kind pieces of art that last a lifetime.

So ... just what do I do as a Celebrant (might be your next question)?

Well, simply put, I like to meet with you in person if at all possible, so that we can all gain a better idea about each other's style and personality. I believe it is essential that the Celebrant you hire is someone who you relate to, someone whose presence suggests the same values and standards as your own, someone who listens to you and hears what you say, as well as what you don't say.

As a Celebrant, I am a writer, a designer of your event, the person who sets the tone for your ceremony, a researcher uncovering ideas and sentiments to include in the words I say on your behalf, an editor of my written work, an organiser of rehearsals and a liaison with significant people who are part of your ceremony (as well as a liaison with your venue).

As a Celebrant, I am the one who officiates 'your story' and your celebration, and I do that with style, with professionalism, with charisma, and with quality speaking skills.

Anyone can stand in front of a group of people and deliver words. But only a top notch Celebrant will do that with grace, presence and with a talent for writing bespoke ceremonies that tell your story in a way that is most meaningful to you.

I will say it again ... I absolutely LOVE my vocation as a Celebrant! And I tell my clients that the person they hire should absolutely love what they do, and that should show on their faces and in their enthusiasm when they talk about their services. The person hired to be a Celebrant should be able to show you, through their presence, that ceremonies are something they do supremely well. And that should come across in the very first interaction you have with a Celebrant, whether it be an email, a phone chat, an in-person visit, or a skype meeting.

From my view, my clients have an incredibly precious, one-moment-in-time life event, so as their Celebrant, I am the heartbeat and the soul of that celebration. My clients deserve the very best I can offer them.

As a Celebrant in the UK, my role is quite unlike the role of a registrar, though both conduct ceremonies. The clarification is that a Celebrant's role is not the legal ceremony, which is actually fantastic because we can design ceremonies any way that suits a client's wishes. There are no restrictions. Ceremonies can be as traditional as a client wishes, or as fantastically creative as they can imagine.

One of the most rewarding aspects of my role as a Celebrant is that I have the privilege to work with people who hold a broad range of life views, beliefs, traditions, cultural customs, or ethnic heritage.

It is such an honour to hold someone's celebration in my hands!

As a Celebrant, I capture memories and meaningful experiences that carefully preserve the heart of an occasion, forever. I do not impose any particular belief system, nor do I restrict clients from including a particular belief into their ceremonies and celebrations. I am a lighthouse guiding clients through every step of designing their ideal ceremony.

In my role as a fully qualified Celebrant, I devote myself to ongoing, comprehensive training, not just in the philosophy of creating beautiful and memorable ceremonies ... but largely in the art of telling a person's or a couple's story beautifully, personally and in a deeply meaningful way.

When I started writing this article, I mentioned how much I love my vocation as a Celebrant! And my words in this article are far reaching, well beyond my own little corner of the world where I work my magic as a Celebrant creating memories for special people and special occasions.

But nothing would bring me more joy than to connect with you - wherever you happen to live on our planet - even if it is just to ask me some questions about hiring a Celebrant, or if you think I can clarify any of your understanding about working with a Celebrant!

I am quite sincere about this, so please do take me up on the offer! Sometimes it can be very useful just to talk things through.

Or visit my website which is a great resource of information for how Celebrants work and what you should expect when you team up with a Celebrant!

Follow me at ellenbowerceremonies.com

Or email me at bower_ellen@yahoo.com

Wedding Traditions - Old, New, Borrowed, Blue

Cultural traditions --- They are fascinating and provide such wonderful insights into history and how customs have evolved.

There are so many cultural traditions involved with organising a wedding and some of them we follow because they suggest 'good luck' while others just seem to have become part of a standard wedding plan.

So, as it's prime wedding season at the moment, here's a treat to some of the more interesting wedding traditions and how they came to influence us still, so many years later.

Did You Know ...

The term 'Tying the Knot' came to symbolise marriage with the ancient Celts. They tied the hands of a couple together in the form of an 'endless knot' or better known as the 'eternity knot'. This involved tying the hands in a way that symbolised the binds that held them together, forever. Even today, in many cultures around the world - including Celtic, Hindu and Egyptian -  the bride and groom's hands are literally tied together to symbolise their commitment and their bond to each other. This tradition is also linked to hand-fasting, where today, couples use different coloured cords or ribbons to symbolise their commitment.

Today, hand-fasting is growing in popularity as a way to symbolise the bond and commitment between couples, and it can be a very colourful way to add character and meaning to a ceremony, through the careful selection of coloured ribbons or cords, and sometimes adding charms that hold special significance.

Proposing and Asking for the
Bride's Hand in Marriage originated with
the Romans who called this tradition 'the
joining of hands'.

During this ancient time in history, the groom

gave a coin to the bride's father to establish his

purchase of the bride. The father then handed

over his daughter to her future husband.  It was

during medieval times when a knight would

pledge his love on his knee as a sign of service to his lady.

Something  old, something new, something borrowed,
something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe is a tradition
rooted in that old familiar Victorian rhyme. 'Something old'
suggests the bride's connection to her family and to the past that
she brings to the marriage; 'something new' is hopeful of her good
fortune as a wife; 'something borrowed' represents the bride's
closeness to her family and friends who, it is hoped, will support
her in times of trouble; 'something blue' is a way of highlighting
her purity; and 'a silver sixpence in her shoe' points to the wishes
offered for happiness and the hope that the couple will avoid
financial hardship.

The Bride's Veil has a variety of
histories. One belief suggests it was an
ancient Roman custom of using a veil to
confuse evil spirits and keep them away
from the bride. Less honourable tales
suggest that a veil was used to keep the
groom from refusing to marry a woman he
found to be unattractive. And another suggests that during the age
where war and bride kidnapping were abundant, putting a sack
over the bride's head was a tactic to whisk  her away from the
groom.

We have certainly come a long way in modifying the tradition of a
veil in the more modern, beautiful headdresses that some bride's
choose. The kidnapping theory is also linked to the groom carrying
his wife into their new home, while other custom suggests that it
would be bad luck if the bride tripped and fell upon entering her
new abode, especially as they believed that evil spirits lurked along
the bottom of rooms. Today, bridal  veils aren't always used,
though they are still rooted in tradition.

The Wedding March is a traditional piece
of music that was created by the composer,
Felix Mendelssohn, and this music was used
in William Shakespeare’s play A Midsummer
Night’s Dream. It wasn't just intended as a
piece of fantasy, but of royalty as well. The 
Wedding March was selected by Princess
Victoria, daughter of Queen Victoria of
England, when she wed Prince Frederick William of Prussia, and
thus the tradition became more and more popular over time.

Wedding Rings and wearing them on the left
hand is believed to originate from different customs; the ancient
Roman's believed that there is a special vein that run from the ring
finger on the left hand directly to the heart, and they coined the
phrase 'vein of love'. The second custom seems to come from
Medieval Europe where it was common practice for the priest to
touch the first three fingers of the bride's left hand to symbolise the
Holy Trinity. The never-ending circle shape of the ring symbolises
the eternal love between the bride and groom, which were
presented to wives-to-be during the time of the Ancient Egyptians
as ringlets made of hemp.

Growing in popularity is the 'Warming of the Rings' at the start of a
Wedding Ceremony. Rings are tied to a cushion or placed in a
special pouch and passed from guest to guest throughout the
ceremony. Guests are asked to hold the rings for a few moments
and put their heartfelt thoughts, hopes, prayers, blessings etc. into
the rings for the couple. This is a really lovely way to involve
guests in the 'ring exchange' portion of a ceremony.

The Best Man is literally translated into 'the
best man to protect the bride'. Once upon a time,
grooms-to-be approached the most capable man
they knew to ward off potential unhappy
ex-suitors of the bride, as well as to protect the
groom in those moments when things might get
a bit nasty.

In more modern times, the best man's primary concern
is keeping the wedding rings safe and presenting them during the
ceremony.

The Bridesmaids had a role, once
upon a time, quite different to day's
custom. In the time when brawling for
the bride was the thing to do, kidnapping
her was not uncommon (thus the need
for a glorified bodyguard in the Best
Man). While matching bridesmaids
dresses have become less common in
today's weddings, in Roman times when this was a sign of good
luck because people believed that those evil spirits would attend
the wedding in an attempt to curse the bride and groom.
Bridesmaids were required to dress exactly like the bride in
order to confuse the spirits and bring luck to the marriage.

I remember realising this when I saw my grandmother's wedding
photo from the early 1920's - she and her bridesmaid wore the
same dress and for someone unfamiliar with the bride and
groom, it was hard to distinguish who was the bride and who
was the bridesmaid!

The Kiss! The kiss was, at one time, considered a legally
binding act that fulfilled the contract between the bride and
groom. It was thought that through the kiss, the couple
'exchanged souls' with each other.

The Bouquet, and tossing custom
seems to gain its roots from ancient times when
wedding ceremonies were believed to be evil
spirit magnets. In ancient Greek and Roman
traditions, brides wore flowers in their hair to
discourage the evil spirits (unexpected guests)
from settling on the bride. As far back as the
14th century, securing a piece of the bridal
gown was intended to bring good luck. Of course, bride's didn't
take well to guests cutting pieces of fabric from their wedding
dress, so, as an alternative, bride's began to give away personal
items, such as the wedding bouquet. Contents of bouquets are
equally rooted in rich cultural and historical traditions. Some
cultures sew small pockets of herbs into wedding clothing, or
drape flower garlands over the couple's shoulder's for good
fortune. In other beliefs, herbs are added to welcome ancestors
and spirits. The Victorians were fascinated by the meanings of
different flowers and what they represent in the lives of the
wedding couple. And in Tudor England brides carried
marigolds dipped in rosewater, and ate them afterwards as they
were thought to be an aphrodisiac! In the Middle East the bitter
herb 'artemisia' is added into bridal bouquets to ensure that
marriages will survive bitterness as well as sweetness. Today's
brides often include their favourite flowers for their colour and
perfume. I have been privileged to see some absolutely exquisite
bouquets made from family heirloom jewellery.

The tradition of a Honeymoon continues today.
According to Babylonian tradition, the father-in-law gave the
groom mead to be consumed during the “honey month.”
Some beliefs suggest that this length of time also served as a
“cooling period” for the bride’s family, who might not have
been so eager to see their daughter leave home.


There are so many culturally-rich traditions in families around
the globe, so when you're planning your wedding, consider
where some of the traditions you'll incorporate into your
ceremony may have originated. Some are quite outdated by
today's standards, while others still hold some charm and
meaning. 

The true beauty of creating a celebrant-led wedding ceremony is
that there are absolutely no limitations or restrictions on how
you design your wedding ceremony, what you want to be said
during your ceremony or how you symbolically mark such a
significant event in your life. Because a celebrant-led wedding
ceremony is not a legal event in the UK (legal procedures are
still organised by your local registry office), your imagination
and creativity are all you need to plan the perfect occasion!

With a Celebrant, you can create your own traditions allowing
for considerably more flexibility and freedom in how you wish
'your story' to be told!

Contact Me Via My Website

Or Email me at bower_ellen@yahoo.com

Creating Life's Ceremonies

 “When you start doubting yourself,
remember how far you have come.  
Remember everything that you have faced,
all the battles you have won,
and all the fears you have overcome.”
– Unknown

Along with the evolution of our culture, comes the evolution of how ... and when ... we celebrate. And whether or not it is considered 'appropriate' to celebrate.

Every day I hear phrases spoken that suggest to me that someone has reached a time in their lives where celebration is very appropriate.  So many milestones reached, achievements met, life improvements accomplished go without acknowledgement.

"It was such a life-changing moment." 

"This is the most cherished time of my life." 

"I couldn't have achieved this without their help."

"I needed a way to say 'good-bye'."

"My life is changing so much; nothing feels the same."

"My life goals are different now;

but how do I start reaching them?"

"Who would have thought we'd be together this long?"

In our 'modern' culture, we tend to think that time-honoured celebrations are the only occasions when we should celebrate - events such as birthdays, weddings, anniversaries seem to be the only occasions worthy of a 'fuss'. Yet, there cultures around the globe that may seem less sophisticated in some ways to our 'western' perceptions (though they are often more spiritual and wiser) where celebrations happen for many reasons that are not obvious achievements --- often related to the quality of how people live their values and learn life lessons.

Many years ago I read about a tribe in Australia that had made the decision to soon end its existence by no longer procreating - not uncommon amongst indigenous people who believe their time on earth has completed. The chief of that tribe explained that they do not celebrate annual birthdays, which they saw as insignificant and couldn't understand why we, in the West, celebrate simply getting older, something that we have absolutely no control over in any way. Instead they celebrated a person in the tribe whenever they had 'grown spiritually' or 'achieved a special awareness/knowledge', or 'improved a negative behaviour'. The quote at the top of this blog post reminds me of that philosophy ... that when we celebrate our lessons and growth in life, we remember them and we remain inspired to keep going on the right path. Simple. Lovely. Worthy of a fuss.

Births, Marriages and Deaths are such significant events in any family or culture. With the sense of community more of an exception rather than the norm in many western cultures today, ceremony and celebration become even more essential in marking history.

For me, creating ritual, celebrating 'getting better' at life, and telling our life stories has grown to become one of the most essential acts we can contribute to the future. Our individual chapters of life may not be preserved in the same pristine chambers as major historical documents, but they are equally as essential to the future, because once our individual stories die out with no evidence left behind --- that is when we are forgotten. And that is when those who come after us miss the gift of our place in time.

I sometimes wonder if many of us believe that anything we celebrate must be done so with, and through, tradition. Actually, we are completely free to create any ritual or celebration that brings meaning to us. We are free to create any celebration that empowers us to journey through life's experiences ... that speaks to our hearts not through a religion or a custom or through the expectation of our friends and families.

Too many times I have had people tell me that they wish they had celebrated a particular life achievement in a meaningful way, but that they thought their friends or family might think it was silly or ridiculous to do so (translate that as 'it isn't how WE do things'). What a shame to be governed so acutely by the limited courage of others.

More often than not when people learn I am a Celebrant, I am taken aside and quietly asked if I might help them create a ceremony for what they perceive to be 'unusual' reasons ... a ceremony to celebrate their remission from a life-threatening illness, an end-of-life ceremony for their elderly or dying pet, a ceremony to honour a finished relationship or a divorce, a ceremony to help them manifest one of their hopes in life, a ceremony to officially acknowledge their growing children (where a baptism or baby naming did not meet their needs), a ceremony to welcome their adopted children to their family, a ceremony to mark their teenage child's rite of passage, a ceremony to mark successful freedom from an addiction ...

Celebration is simply the intention to honour our life experiences. It is an act of acknowledging our commitment to another person.

It is permission to grieve the illness or the death of a loved one.

It is honouring the time when we pass through a particularly challenging or arduous life experience, and come out the other side better, wiser.

Celebration is simply recognising the wonderful rite of passage when a young person moves into puberty or acknowledging our gratitude for the birth of a child.

It is creating a safe platform for acknowledging the need for forgiveness in a relationship that is or was.

It is the release of harboured resentment or anger, fear or low confidence that is no longer wanted.

Celebration is welcoming a new era in life, a new decade of wisdom. It is honouring how a particular life experience served us, but is no longer needed, so it must be released.

Celebration is simply giving 'wings' to our life stories, so they can serve us when necessary, and so we can let them go, when no longer needed.

Ceremony is the catalyst to unite people, to bring people together for a common celebration, a celebration that most often inspires the right change at the right time. Ceremony is that simple structure, that beautiful 'order' that brings a sense of fulfilment, a taste of knowing that an important passage has been reached and must be honoured before you move on in life.

There are no 'wrong ways' to create Celebration and Ceremony. But there is a 'right way' - and that is what is dictated by your heart and your intuition. Your mind is welcome to come along for the celebration, but it is your heart that is the guest of honour.

However you refer to it - ritual, commemoration, rite, formality, dedication, communion, initiation, blessing, consecration ... it is my hope that you give yourself permission to celebrate the complexities and the beautiful outcomes of life's experiences.

Contact me via my website

Contact me via email