Your ceremony is the most significant event in your life at this time and, in a way, you are asking someone to 'hold your heart' while they tell your story, which you hope will be in a beautiful, meaningful and passionate way.
What are YOUR questions?
Here are some of the things many couples wonder about when they research Celebrants and begin the process of enquiring about their services. Perhaps you'll find some of your answers here!
I want someone who will
'tell our story' in a meaningful way. How will you do that?
This is such an important
occasion in your life and the person responsible to officiate must be able to
do so with professionalism, with the right level of emotion, as well as with an
understanding and an empathy for the story being told on your behalf. You might
gain an idea of someone's style by speaking with them or meeting with them
before you make a decision.
It is very important to me that I get to know both of you, and learn as much as I can about your family and friends before I write your ceremony. With this perspective, I can write in a style that will suit your personalities, as well as meet your expectations of what will be said in the ceremony on the day.
I would like someone with a
lovely voice, clear and easy to listen to; someone who captivates our guests.
What do people say about your speaking voice and how do you engage an audience?
Similar to the above
response, you will gain a good feeling about a Celebrant by speaking with them,
either by phone, by Skype, or in a face-to-face meeting. A Celebrant should
always be willing to accommodate this request before expecting you to book with
them. You will also want to have a sense for whether the Celebrant will be
'performing' or whether their personality and style will blend well into the
ceremony.
My clients all tell me they love the tone of my voice. I have a soft American accent (Californian), which is very appealing in this British culture. I am told often that my voice is captivating and that it is a great style for story-telling - and let's face it! Telling your story is what will make your ceremony unique!
Why do you enjoy your role
as a Celebrant?
This is
a good question to ask because you likely want a Celebrant who believes in the joy, love and emotion of your occasion
in the same way that you do. This is an extremely reasonable expectation, and while it may not be possible to fully know a Celebrant's background or
current personal
circumstances, a comfort level
should come through
during your initial contact and subsequent meetings. If
you do not feel that the Celebrant you
are interviewing has
the level of empathy
and/or emotion that you desire, then
they are not the right person for you.
I created my vocation as a Celebrant because I
delight in celebrating occasions and special
moments in life; I believe it is so important to
mark our experiences especially when they are so
meaningful.
I want a Celebrant who is
organised and who we can trust to be punctual and prepared on the day. How do
you organise your clients and your workload, particularly during peak season?
Great question! How a
Celebrant first contacts you, and what they say and provide as resources is a
very good indicator of their general professionalism and organisation. A
Celebrant should reply to your query within 48 hours or sooner; if they cannot
reply in depth then at least an acknowledgement should be sent. Their reply
email should be fairly indepth, attempting to answer some of your initial
questions. Their reply should provide you with a good glimpse into how they run
their business and how serious they are about wanting to take you on as a
client. For example, the Celebrant should explain their process, what they
expect from you in terms of payment schedule, offer insight into what you can
expect when you work with them, and highlight any resources they will share
with you when you book their services. Following on from that, when you pay a
booking fee or deposit, the Celebrant should email you a 'receipt' straight
away upon receipt of the funds. You should never have to chase a Celebrant for
things like receipts, nor should you have to chase a Celebrant about writing
your ceremony draft; they should be on top of that and should be communicating
with you closer to the date.
I thrive on being prepared and early! I always arrive at the venue 30-60 minutes ahead of time, and I always prepare a playlist of the wedding music on my own iPad as a back up (there is nothing more stressful than someone forgetting the music on the day)!
I want a Celebrant I can
trust and who will make my event a priority. What happens if, for some reason,
you are unable to attend our occasion on the day?
A trustworthy Celebrant
will be clear about their terms and conditions, and those should be printed on
the booking form that you will sign. You have every right to know what
alternative plans will be made should the person you hire not be available on
the day. And the reason for a Celebrant to not be available should be dire
(such as a severe illness, an accident preventing them from travelling, a
family emergency, and so on). The Celebrant you hire should be able to offer
you alternative plans as assurance that your ceremony will take place despite
their presence. Fortunately, by the time the day of your ceremony arrives, your
ceremony will have been written, approved by you and finalised. So, the first
alternate plan is for your Celebrant to arrange for another Celebrant from
their organisation to fill in on the day. If that is not achievable, then the Celebrant
should refund the final balance, with the understanding that you find another
Celebrant, or you can secure a friend or family member to officiate the
ceremony for you.
I network frequently with other Celebrants and I have my own list of Celebrants who have a similar style to my own, and whose intentions and ethics match my level of working with people.
We want our ceremony to be
very traditional so our guests feel they are attending a Civil Ceremony. Will a
you be able to create a ceremony so that everyone thinks this is the 'real'
legal ceremony?
This is one of the most
common requests. Couples are warming to the idea of completing their legal
ceremony at the register office ahead of the wedding ceremony, but often
couples want their guests to feel they are attending the actual legal ceremony.
A Celebrant-led ceremony is not a legal event, however most components of the
legal ceremony can be included. This is a perfect option because couples can
have a 'traditional' ceremony, while personalising it with more romance, with
more of a focus on the couple, and with any religious or non-religious content
they desire. The Ceremony can also include readings, singing (if desired),
symbolic gestures, vows (traditionally repeated or spoken to each other), ring
promises, and so on.
We want our ceremony to be
non-traditional, laid back and unique to us, without the standard components of
a civil ceremony. Will a Celebrant be able to create this?
This is an equally common
request. Many couples see a Celebrant-led ceremony as an acknowledgement of
their legal ceremony. Some refer to this as a Marriage blessing or a Commitment
Ceremony. In this case, the couple decides which components of a ceremony
they wish to include, plus the addition of any symbolic gestures they desire
(e.g. Sand Ceremony, Marriage Box,
Hand-Fasting, Ring Warming, Candle Lighting etc.).
I have never been short on
ideas! I am an excellent resource for ways to make your ceremony special and
unique!
Some of our family are
quite religious. Is there any way to include something that can honour their
beliefs without compromising our preference for a non-religious ceremony?
I am often asked to write
special prayers or blessings that can be offered during a ceremony. Sometimes I
am asked to include standard prayers from the couple's faith. In a
Celebrant-led ceremony, you can include anything that you desire. The decision
is yours and your Celebrant should honour those wishes without hesitation. I
have officiated wedding ceremonies with leaders of other faiths joining in by
offering prayers (e.g rabbis, vicars, etc.) and wedding ceremonies influenced
by various cultures (e.g. Hindu, Chinese, Spanish, Scottish, Korean, and so
on). And at other weddings that have had a Buddhist influence, I have
officiated a blessing to meet those beliefs.
Whatever the wishes of the couple, those can be honoured.
We would like to involve
our children in some way. Is this something we can do?
Including children in a
ceremony is lovely and there are many ways this can be achieved. Many of the
symbolic gestures that I will share with you can be adapted to include
children, particularly one like the Sand Ceremony where each person in the
family can have their own unique coloured sand to blend together with the
others. There are many ways that children can be included so be sure to explore
those ideas with your Celebrant.
Do our guests need to know
that we had our legal ceremony on a different day? We'd prefer to keep that
private.
No need whatsoever for your guests to know when you completed your legal ceremony. The wedding ceremony
will be officiated as a traditional Civil Ceremony if that is your wish. While
I am present as a Celebrant and not a Registrar, there is no reason why the
wedding ceremony cannot mirror a traditional ceremony on the day.
I want to include a new
tradition. Is that something we can do?
Absolutely! The beauty of a
celebrant-led ceremony is that you can include any new traditions or existing
family traditions in the ceremony. This is the perfect occasion to start a new
tradition or to blend cultures if that suits your family.
I was brought up Christian but
not do not go to church any more. Can we still have some prayers in our
ceremony?
Yes, as mentioned above, I
am often asked to write special prayers or blessings that can be offered during
a ceremony. Sometimes I am asked to include standard prayers from the couple's
faith. In a Celebrant-led ceremony, you can include anything that you desire.
The decision is yours and your Celebrant should honour those wishes without
hesitation.
What do you generally wear
to officiate ceremonies?
I always check about any
theme or particular colours that the bridal party will wear because I want to
be sure that the colours I choose on the day complement the general colour
scheme. I tend to wear outfits that blend in well, the sort of outfits I might
wear to a wedding as a guest. I personally prefer not to wear suits as it is
not my particular style.
Can we have our wedding
ceremony outdoors? In a field or at the seaside? In the woods or in a park? In
my family's garden. In a favourite pub or place of interest?
Yes, anywhere! You can choose to hold your
wedding ceremony anywhere you like, and that includes all locations that are
not licensed. Since this is not the legal ceremony, you are not restricted to
following strict regulations. As long as the venue you choose is receptive to
the idea of organising the space for a ceremony, then you can hold your
ceremony there. The only advice that I will offer is that if you choose an
outdoor venue (and many couples have their hearts set on an outdoor wedding),
please consider alternative plans should the weather not cooperate. A small
drizzle or occasional shower is fine, but if the day is blustery and stormy,
then you'll want to be under cover. This can be achieved either by arranging
with the venue to use a room on the day, or using a marquee for the ceremony,
which can then be reset for the meal and entertainment portion of the day.
Can we have any theme we
want for our Ceremony? Will a Celebrant cooperate or do we have to follow
specific guidelines?
you wish your ceremony to portray, then the Celebrant
should work with you to achieve that. And this can be
written into the Ceremony script as well, especially if there
are any passages or readings that are theme-oriented. If
your theme includes fancy dress, then you can also
ask the Celebrant if they would cooperate by dressing in a
particular way on the day in honour of the theme. Most
should be willing to accommodate that wish.
What questions do you have about hiring a Celebrant?For answers to your questions about hiring a Celebrant, contact me and I'm happy to offer you some guidance! www.ellenbowerceremonies.com or bower_ellen@yahoo.com
